Identify Your Oneness

Couples oftentimes invest a significant amount of time looking was ways to change each other or change themselves when they discover a difference of opinion on a particular subject matter. What would it be like if couples focused on the good things and rejected any continuous thoughts of negativity in the relationship? Couples can outline many of the illussionary disconnects in their relationship and yet may find it difficult to even identify all the support and/or benefits they receive from their spouse. Why is that the case?